Some Kinda Wonderful;or The Implied Intermittent Failings of Jen to Attend Class

Girls I'd Probably Do (rough draft)

2009-10-30T03:16:26Z

1. Ellen Page

2. Jodie Foster

3. Penelope Cruz

4. Scarlett Johansson

5. Mary-Louise Parker

6. duh, Angelina Jolie

7. Aimee Argote from Des Ark

excerpts from The Trap-door of Memories, Ch. 1 (age 10).

2009-09-14T03:52:40Z

"The basement was dull and dreary. Plus, it was very dark. (. . .) It was disgusting, but Ricky loved it. It was a place for relaxation, a place to get rid of worries and cares."

"Ricky thought about all the times he had crawled under the sofa. How could he have missed it!"

"It seemed to be more like a change in goodness. For instance, the air seemed to get hotter, stuffier. As if something was there. Something evil, and Ricky didn't like it.

And then it happened - quick as a flash. Ricky screamed. For there, looming in front of him with a giant head and no body, was the very face of his math teacher, Miss Trimborne. She growled, and her face was even uglier than usual. It was all bloated up, and covered with spots and warts and ugly, disgusting pimples. Plus, it was gigantic, so all the pimples were about an inch big!"

"And why was his math teacher's blown-up head floating around below his basement?"

I couldn't make this shit up if I tried, folks.

so.

2009-08-18T07:55:57Z

Florence and the Machine - "Between Two Lungs"

"Briefly, in my explorations of the chronologic flow, I have discovered something dreadfully amiss within the fields of human time. My sojourns in the stream of being have convinced me that our own material Universe, its past, its present and its future, is but one plane of a splendorous and infinitely greater structure that comprises nothing less than the totality of all Existence, manifested in both physical and spiritual dimensions. You will guess my horror, then, when I discovered that there seems to be a vast, near unimaginable hole torn in the fabric of Creation, and that certain atmospheres or entities are leaking through this dreadful and apocalyptic pit from somewhere else!" - The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

Florence and the Machine - "Postcards From Italy" (Beirut cover)

I gotta tell you about the time traveling dream before all the pertinent/touching details are gone. Remind me to do that.

here is some sad flash "autobiography"

2009-07-14T01:47:25Z

It’s hard to forget a time when you saw an adult cry, young. It’s hard to forget a time when you, young, very young, much younger, saw two unrelated adults cry, on two unrelated occasions. The first was your mother and the second the bereaved man who sold you his once lithe blonde wife’s flute. Leukemia? Some kind of skin cancer? Is there such a thing as basic as cell cancer? Sickle cell anemia? They’d just pulled the plug on your mother’s mother. She’d been a vegetable for over a year anyway but once during that time she did reprimand your grandfather sharply in her old voice: “Shut up, Fred!” It made your little sister start, you smile weakly, your mother even more so (the smile and the weakly) and your grandfather put his hand over his face. Oops, guess that makes three.

analysis

2009-06-12T04:54:56Z

hall (12:24:18 AM): and of all those kinds of people you've gotta face with a view, i'm just an animal looking for a home and, share the same space for a minute or two

hall (12:24:46 AM): AND YOU LOVE ME TILL MY HEART STOPS, LOVE ME TILL IM DEAD, I SIT RIGHT UP, I DRIFT THROUGH YOU, COVER UP THE BLANK SPOTS, HIT ME ON THE HEAD, A OOOOOOH

hall (12:24:54 AM): seriously that song

hall (12:24:56 AM): is wow

hall (12:25:03 AM): cause like the thing is

hall (12:25:11 AM): talking heads songs are all very intellectual and artsy

hall (12:25:20 AM): they are mostly about buildings and math and objects

hall (12:25:23 AM): and like terror

just when you think you know beautiful

2009-04-14T05:16:06Z

Aimee Argote of Des Ark at a small unadvertised house show in Philly the other night completely floored me. Pained, intimate, drunk, using her boot as percussion & rocking forward in her tiny wooden chair until we were afraid she'd fall out of it. Bull owned the house, & became marginally distraught when guests set their bags & beer bottles down on the unlabeled garden in the poorly lit backyard. "We're growing raspberries here, & that's a fig tree over there." Somewhat surreally, he was babysitting a moonbounce. Aimee had an anchor tattoo on her ring finger. She's gay. The anchor showed up in some of her song lyrics. I accosted her afterwards, a little tipsily, & demanded at least five of each of her CDs. I could only pay for two separately. I didn't find out she was gay until later. I keep hearing one of her lyrics as "I've got this anger on my finger now," but it's really 'anchor.' I guess it works both ways?

". . . i gave my heart but then you took my lungs from me

baby, get on an aeroplane to Napoli
let's buy some land and start a family
whatever you ain't never had

honey, we could stay in bed for hours
talkin' shit and tellin' stupid jokes
and working on our garden
where we will sow all of our restless hope"

Youtube here

Des Ark - "Two Hearts Are Better Than One"

are these even principles; screw the unintentional changing fonts

2009-03-24T02:37:54Z

Some principles I find important: we are all going to die, we are all dying, all the time, we must live this way, as if we are constantly dying. I AM DYING. I will file these papers in this office because people need affordable houses & I need cash monies & so, Adam Smith, you win again, but in reality, we are all dying, we are all going to die, I will go home & play my acoustic guitar.

AND SURF OKCUPID.

Once I thought I could write beautifully. Having a Time is fine, but having a love like the kind you can hear in Carla Bruni’s “Quelqu'un m'a dit” is Egyptian cotton sheets, threadcount 400+

points deux

2009-03-09T04:16:22Z

1. The more I sleep, the better my dream hugs get, from people I know & don't

2. Why am I not getting what the movies promised me?

The movies promised me things

I'M NOT GETTING

no one ever told me not to read too much into the movies

how old am i that i actually think this is a good idea, i think this kind of rationale

2009-03-04T07:17:02Z

only comes with age

OBLITERATEDbyenametoodrunktoremain (2:13:38 AM): what we could do is go to the symphonytiems, then go get trashed and listen to said concerto on the itunes

guess who's a wispy sap

2009-03-03T07:21:38Z

Why can't we just hold onto time, think about keeping it all day long, instead of working & passing it in ways that let it go too quickly? Does kissing, lovemaking, hold time? Is oblivion a moratorium on time or a fast forward of it?

Elizabeth Gilbert might not agree (until three more pages in when everything is miraculously solved)

2009-01-11T21:01:17Z

I NEED TO IGNORE MYSELF AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE

Also this guy's art takes my breath away every time:

khaleyev_boris

it's not really from the book this post would lead you to believe it's from

2008-12-31T02:02:23Z

"To devote yourself to the creation and enjoyment of beauty, then, can be a serious business - not always necessarily a means of escaping reality, but sometimes a means of holding on to the real when everything else is flaking away into . . . rhetoric and plot" (114-115).

~ Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

Although I did forget about this:

2008-12-15T04:08:20Z

When Stephen was ten years old, his father Herbert, a distant figure in Stephen's life, abandoned him and his mother. Stephen "famously despised" Foxy;^[1] he once wrote a thank-you note to close friend Mary Rodgers that read, "Dear Mary and Hank, Thanks for the plate, but where was my mother's head? Love, Steve."^[2] When Foxy died on September 15, 1992, Sondheim refused to attend her funeral.

(If I don't put it in quotes & attribute a source, does the above tidbit seem more mysterious, or is it obvious that this is a pure Wikipedia de lite? Because this tidbit is completely unrelated to the topic I'm 'researching,' & I'm going to fail this final.)

Sincerely,

In Conclusion

the best thing from studying for my final so far.

2008-12-15T00:43:55Z

Moon tries to cheer Billy up by urging him to "Be Like the Bluebird". Billy doubts he will ever see Hope again; he and Moon cannot leave their cell until they return to America. Their card-playing Chinese cellmates, who have been imprisoned for winning all the cash in third class, will be put ashore in England. Moon and Billy win their clothes in a game of strip poker.

Once Upon a Time (John, I'm Sorry).

2008-11-04T21:17:26Z

There was no line at my 'place of poll.' I wonder if that means that my district is small or apolitical, or whether I just picked a bad time. In defense of my 'place of poll,' there were 3 voting machines & a trio of chuckling elderly black ladies not paying attention to me even though I was the only one in the Place of Poll, a fire station down the street. Their chuckling soothed me, & I decided to vote for Barack.

Crikes, cats, & really ugly burns.

2008-07-27T00:11:10Z

I was looking at the will of a woman who died in 1920, Margaret Crykes. Or Cryke. Or Crike. Crikey, I don't know. Anyway, point being, next to that will was another will - that of a man. In said will, he bequeaths $40 unto his wife per month, so long as she

a) "remains his widow"

b) "does not partake in the consumption of alcoholic beverages"

& finally, last but not least,

c) "refrains from harboring men in her quarters" .

These are direct quotes. My question is, was this

a) a jealous attempt to prevent his wife from enjoying the rest of her life by inextricably tying her financial status up with her post-mortem faithfulness to him?

or, more likely,

b) a considerate . . . Puritan . . . making sure his wife was well-provided for beyond the grave? Working under the assumption that if she "harbored" other gentlemen in her boudoir, she'd be economically stable enough?

*

In other news, the cats are asleep outside on opposite ends of the worn-&-torn trampoline.

*

In still yet other news, I was a firsthand witness to second-degree burns that blistered & puffed up with pus today. Not mine, though, thank Gawd. They're hella ugly. Hella.

Brian baby / To Whom It May Concern:

2008-05-18T00:57:38Z

Dear Brian Piltin,

   Where did you go? Please come back. Your songs do something to me that I very much appreciate. I understand if disappearing completely was necessary for you to live happily, or at all. How old were you when you sang those songs? I saw some photos. How old are you now? Where are you? I have intentionally contributed to heartbreak in this world. Is it wrong to think that certain, not all, but certain of those around "you" don't involve a sobering knowledge of the great swath(e?!!) or potential of tragedy in their daily activities and conversations? You slipped up here in this live version of this acoustic "Floating Down the River" I scrounged from Soulseek obscurity, but you covered it well. It was only a momentary hesitation. I don't think I have a crush on you, necessarily; just your music. JUST YOUR SOUL!!! That's been a hard-learned distinction for me. I don't really think I've learned it entirely yet, to be honest. Would you write back? Could I address this:

                                                  Brian Piltin
                                               World at Large
                                                                                                                ?

honest to goodness

2008-04-02T05:16:58Z

The best thing in my life right now is other people's children.

drew from drew & the medicinal pen made up this great folk song at breakfast.

2008-03-05T04:16:27Z

Someone punched my nose & broke it, moving it to the side bloodily.

At a sold-out concert, a vivacious, attractive blonde-haired lesbian reached around & kissed me in front of everyone sitting down behind us. We were pressed up against the stage. She used tongue.

At least, that's what I dreamed.

oops.

2007-12-29T18:32:36Z

"The different rhythms of rock music reproduce (and therein lies the greatest danger) the rhythms used by the sorcerers of African tribes and in voodoo rites to exasperate the nervous system and even to paralyze the mental process of consciousness."

This was 'restored' from a prior 'saved entry.' Sorry, no idea what it's from.

I have a new coworker. (Coworkers - I have them!) Her name is Anneliese. Sometimes I pick her up from the Trenton train station so she doesn't have to walk to the courthouse in the Arctic cold & drizzle. Sometimes, upon returning from said station, I don't remember to turn left at the correct intersection, & so attempt to perform an illegal u-turn, & entirely misjudge the distance needed in order to not have to reverse, & fail to reverse, & drive straight up onto said curb with a loud noise, ripping bolts holding a plastic part of my car's body attached to itself above the wheel off so that said part hangs, ripped & dejected, & drags on the ground, rudely alerting passersby to my presence when I hit 15 mph.

"Fuck," I whisper. "Oh, fuck. Oh, shit. Anneliese - oh god, shit.

"Anneliese, you are to tell no one of this," I intone ominously.

I'm not good at updating LJ.

oh my god, you have such good prestidigitation tricks!!!

2007-12-06T04:50:42Z

Am I wrong for secretly thinking it's hilarious when people insert the word 'egregious' into casual conversation? This one woman did it in an elevator once, & then said, 'Bless you' religiously to the other woman she was talking to a lot, & then got off. Then one of my roommates did it, just now, months later, but kind of apologetically. I could accept kind of apologetically, but seriously. I thought she was cool.

In other news, we have a very vicious cat.

it's more of a question of care continuity

2007-11-19T05:50:31Z

Memo to self: Start to care. Start to care. Start to care.

Things to Tell My Grandchildren (my children will already know by osmosis):

2007-10-27T16:24:29Z

War is unacceptable.
The way butter melts on a toasted English muffin is acceptable.

Alternatively,

The way butter melts on a toasted English muffin is acceptable.
War is unacceptable.

yes

2007-10-20T01:40:56Z

"Oooh, the conference is going to be in New Orleans this year!!!" exclaimed my mother, excitedly.

She is a pharmacist, pharmaceutically.

"Are you going to give medicine to the homeless people?" I asked, inquisitively.

She said nothing for a moment, silently.

"There are lots of good places to eat in New Orleans, I think," she said, thoughtfully.

egg? chicken, egg? chicken, egg? chicken, egg? chicken

2007-10-06T00:39:54Z

Are the things we can't forget the most important, or just the most traumatizing?